What An Opportunity

Posts Tagged ‘Aaron Mansfield’

Lee’s adoration-inducing balance: an examination of humiliation and religion in Quiet Odyssey

In Sports on February 25, 2013 at 2:23 pm

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I recently studied Mary Paik Lee’s Quiet Odyssey for an undergraduate English class. Essentially my entire class loved the book, and I found it shocking that the novel has created minuscule online discussion. While other tales are discussed on all sorts of different sites, this one remains relatively in the shadows, which is an injustice. In my opinion, there is not readily available information on the novel on the internet for scholars to work with, so I decided to post my thoughts here. I’m no expert, but I figured anything helps. Hope some student, somewhere in the world, finds this helpful!

In boxing, the best fighters are quick, strong, and durable. They don’t get knocked down easily, and in the rare situation in which they do go down, they’re back on their feet and ready to duke it out again shortly thereafter. Above all attributes, though, the exemplary boxers have mastered one technique: the one-two punch.

Right hook, left cross. Left jab, right uppercut. The variety and order of the punches are negligible, but they invariably come rapidly (at just the right time) and powerfully (with just the right amount of oomph), knocking the boxer’s unsuspecting, vulnerable opponent to the mat.

As a boxer must game plan, so too an author must have a strategy for presenting his/her story. In Mary Paik Lee’s biography, Quiet Odyssey: A Pioneer Korean Woman in America, Lee displays a propensity for landing haymakers and leaving readers befuddled, thinking “how did her family persevere through that?” Lee’s one-two punches are less noticeable than those of a boxing event, but they are just as devastating. Presumably, many readers respond to the text the same way I did: How could Lee carry on in the midst of such persecution? What remarkable strength, what resiliency, what ambition. English scholars are cynical by nature. It’s inherent in the education, and few characters in literature are universally accepted as amazing figures. The students in my class (myself included), however, were unequivocally blown away by Lee.

Thus, a question begs to be asked: what is it about her delivery that makes this short novel – which most likely is not the best-written piece most students have read in a year or month or maybe even a week – so powerful? It cannot be simply her poverty, for the impact of her tale extends far beyond a “Hard Knock Life” narrative.

It is Lee’s balanced story made up of a one-two punch – humiliation and religion – that makes her such an easily admired and beloved character. It is her family’s constant disgrace countered by its unswerving faith in God. These two facets of Quiet Odyssey lodge Lee’s tale in a reader’s memory, and it does not wiggle free easily.

Lee’s poverty is clear. Her upbringing is pitiable as her family lives in essentially unlivable conditions. They survive by existing like animals. Their lifestyle is downright appalling, and, through the eyes of a young girl, it is demeaning. Before their poor life in America, early in the novel, Lee divulges the reason her family left Korea and, in the process, establishes the theme of humiliation.

After Japan took possession of Korea, Korean people were treated like second-class citizens … They were deprived of all their property and had no rights under the Japanese laws. Names of towns, streets, and persons were changed to Japanese … All Korean books and Korean flags were destroyed. It was the complete humiliation of an entire nation. (Lee 42)

Her family is helpless, experiencing “one crisis after another.” Her home has been abolished. They cannot stay in Korea, as they are being discriminated against and more or less brainwashed. The kids would grow up thinking they were Japanese. Right away in the novel, as Lee is laying the foundation of her story, we notice her amazing tale originated because of humiliation – “the complete humiliation of an entire nation.”

Later in the text, an adolescent Lee tells her father about a job opportunity she is interested in pursuing to help their family and assist in feeding the hungry younger children. Lee goes on to say: “Many years later, he told me he had felt humiliated to hear his eleven-year-old daughter tell him that her one-dollar-a-week wages were needed to feed the family” (24). Despite the family’s horrendous living conditions and the extreme prejudice they experience, Lee’s father still holds onto his pride. When Lee offers to help, he is humiliated.

The complete elimination of pride appears often throughout the text. As the story opens and the family moves to Hawaii, Lee’s mother wants to work to support the family but her husband will not let her. He tells her, “Even if we have to starve, I don’t want you working out in the fields” (9). He protects his wife from work as long as he can. Shortly thereafter, when Lee’s mother absolutely must start working and becomes a cook for hungry working men, she is forced to cut off her long black hair, which reached the floor. Lee says: “It must have caused her much grief to lose her beautiful hair, but she never complained. We had already lost everything else that meant anything to us” (15).

The family’s plight of humiliation only gets worse. As the parents sleep on the floor, Lee sleeps with a block of wood for a pillow. And later, when Lee begins working, she reaches arguably her lowest point: “There were times when I cried from exhaustion while I was working, with the sweat running down my back and stomach” (97).

Lee’s early life evokes unabashed, understandable empathy from readers. Consider the situations established above, though they are just a few of many: Her home has been captured, changed forever, and ruined; many of her loved ones are stuck back in Korea in even worse conditions than she is experiencing in America and her family has no idea how they are doing; her family cannot afford to feed everyone and the youngest children are starving; Lee’s mother must go to work and abandon any sense of physical beauty; and Lee, still a young girl, works herself to the point of tears. In all, that sounds like an extremely rough life – and it is a tremendously small sampling of what she experiences throughout the book.

With the reader off balance and already quite partial toward Lee, she needs just one more positive attribute – the second shot in the one-two punch – to seal the deal and cement her place as adored in the reader’s mind. If Lee had complained through all the hard times (though she does give in, as any young girl would, occasionally) and been an annoying child, she would not be cherished. However, Lee stays composed through reminders to maintain unwavering faith in God and dedication to her Christianity, following the precedent set by her hyper-religious parents. Readers cannot help but applaud the family’s undying faith and belief that God is in control in the midst of extreme toils.

As soon as they leave Korea, Lee says: “Mother said that God must surely have been guiding us in the right direction” (7). Though her father was slated to make just 50 cents a day for working from dawn to dusk and their situation does not look all that bright, they believe leaving their home country is a positive thing because God is guiding their family.

Immediately upon arriving in Hawaii, though they had enough other worries, the Lee family becomes involved in a church, where Lee’s father preaches when he is not busy working on plantations. This dedication to making it to church no matter what and relying on God above all appears on seemingly every page. Perhaps the greatest portrayal of their extreme belief in God, however, comes on page 101: “All during our farming years, we donated what we could to help build and maintain our Korean Presbyterian Church.” The family could barely get by. They struggled to eat at all and never ate well. Nevertheless, they kept tithing because the Bible stated: “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (II Corinthians 9:7, English Standard Version).

Several parts of the story incorporate both major themes – humiliation and religion – at the same time. When Lee travels to the slaughterhouse with Meung to gather the disposed animal organs for her family to eat (food “considered unfit for human consumption”) and the butchers taunt the children mercilessly, it is clear the family is at a humiliating level. But Lee’s father turns to his religion for an answer: “When I told Father I didn’t want to go there because they were making fun of us, he said we should thank God that they did not know the value of what they threw out; otherwise, we would go hungry” (16). In Hollister, when Lee finds a church she likes, the minister asks her to join the congregation, but she is embarrassed. She feels the regular attendees will not approve of her heritage. In Willows, when the family holds church with seven other families, the young children sneak out to eat any food they can find while Lee’s father prays. They are in a place that exists to praise God, but the children are too hungry to focus.

Lee’s one-two punch of a humiliating upbringing but firm religious belief in the face of utter disarray molds her into a character the reader cannot help but admire. I find it appropriate that Lee begins Chapter 16, “Reflections,” with Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Her family embodies faith. If they were to base their outlook on the things they see on a daily basis, they would be depressed people. But they stay optimistic and thankful and keep on pressing on because of their “assurance of things hoped for,” videlicet, eternity in heaven. One other Bible verse rang through my head as I counted the endless occurrences of demoralizing poverty and heartening religion, II Corinthians 4:16-18: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Mary Paik Lee and her family do not lose heart. In her recollection of their story of coming to America and struggling to survive, it is Lee’s early-life combination of humiliation and religion that causes readers to venerate her.

 

2 Chainz: the non-sequitur king of the world

In Culture on December 20, 2012 at 3:53 pm
2 Chainz is tearing up the mainstream hip-hop game right now, but I'm onto his method.

2 Chainz is tearing up the mainstream hip-hop game right now, but I’m onto his method.

I have a confession: while I’m working out, I enjoy “ratchet rap” – the in-your-face, ignorant hip-hop that is in no way intelligent or even moderately thought-provoking. Hip-hop gets me going in the morning and puts me to sleep at night. The genre is a major component of my life, and I consider it a true form of expression and a pivotal outlet for many kids who need the positive distraction. Some of hip-hop’s deepest modern artists – like Lupe Fiasco and Macklemore – send my head spinning and leave it in motion for days.

But some of the stuff just doesn’t make sense, and 2 Chainz is the leader of the tomfoolery. 2 Chainz is one of the hottest mainstream hip-hop artists right now. He even has a new Champs Sports commercial. Lately, as I’ve been running around my neighborhood or lifting weights in the gym, his illogical music has pierced through my headphones and left me thinking, wait … what in the world did he just say?

I may be the color of mayonnaise, but I’m onto you, 2 Chainz, and it’s time to inform the world.

The phrase “non sequitur” is Latin for “it does not follow.” As Wikipedia states: “In a non sequitur, the conclusion could be either true or false, but the argument is fallacious because there is a disconnection between the premise and the conclusion.”

When 2 Chainz is featured in songs – notably hits “Mercy” by Pusha T and “Bands A Make Her Dance” by Juicy J – he sticks to making obscure food references (such as ketchup, cheese, and bread) while discussing women in extreme detail, referring to alcohol and drugs, and displaying extreme affection for his coupe. But his most popular individual songs follow the formula below.

Step One: Come up with a really catchy beat

Step Two: Propose some deep, reflective question

Step Three: Respond to the question with a completely irrelevant, shallow line – videlicet, a non sequitur

For analysis, let’s look at his two biggest songs of late.

1. “I’m Different”

True difference is respectable and, quite frankly, it’s rare among stars in modern society. As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” So for acknowledging your difference, 2 Chainz, I salute you.

However, it’s unclear just how you are different. “I’m different, yeah, I’m different,” he raps in the chorus. Good! I’m glad to see that. Now tell us how you’re different.

“Pull up to the scene with my ceiling missing,” ummm, “Pull up to the scene with my ceiling missing.”

Question: what is so different about driving around in a convertible? Plenty of people do that. You just leave me wondering and never answer the question of how, in fact, you are different, 2 Chainz.

2. “Birthday Song”

Once every month at the student publication I run, The Spectrum, a few of the arts editors put together a Mixtape Monthly in which they review the hottest hip-hop set to release. In October, they described 2 Chainz’s “Birthday Song” as follows: “That song alone will have you ready to flip glass tables and throw diamonds into the crowd. If you have subwoofers in your car, we highly recommend playing this song as ride up music for anywhere you go.”

I agree! It’s amazing pump-up music, and it’ll probably get you more hype than anything from Lupe or Macklemore. But it’s from 2 Chainz, so does it make sense? Of course not. Look at the chorus.

“They ask me what I do and who I do it for.” I’m sure a lot of people have wondered this, 2 Chainz. Who do you rap for? Who was your influence, your role model to get caught up in this high-octane rap game?

“And how I come up with this sh** up in the studio.” You do think of some absurd lines. So what’s your answer? Who IS your inspiration? And how DO you come up with “this sh**?”

“All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe.” Come on. You can’t be serious, man. “All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe.”

I mean, if that’s what you really want, enjoy your birthday, but you still didn’t answer any of the questions you posed.

If that sequence doesn’t prove it, I don’t know if anything will: 2 Chainz is one of the all-time masters of the non sequitur.

Drop-backs and tattoos: an inked sports writer’s response to David Whitley

In Culture, Life, Sports on November 30, 2012 at 11:16 pm
Kaepernick

Sparked by a Sporting News column, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s tattoos have been the source of heated discussion across national sports media the past two days.

Tattoos are the hot topic and columnist David Whitley is under fire. The reason? On Wednesday, Whitley published a column entitled “Colin Kaepernick ushers in an inked-up NFL quarterbacking era.”

Here’s the gist: Whitley doesn’t like tattoos, new 49ers QB Kaepernick (a good-character 25-year-old from Milwaukee who is thriving as the new guy under center in San Francisco) has a myriad of permanent markings on his body, and Whitley thinks Kaepernick is setting a bad example for kids.

I am in a unique position to respond. I am a young man who is: a white guy, a sports journalist, a former athlete who considered playing college basketball and probably would have won the NBA Slam Dunk Contest one day if that had happened, an avid NFL fan since birth, a business professional, someone who has pondered if athletes should be considered role models, and a canvas of two tattoos.

Hear me out.

First, I am the editor in chief of a college newspaper. I worked in the sports department at a local television station for a year, I often write sports articles for two local daily newspapers, and I’ve also done freelance reporting for The New York Times. While I am young (21 years old) and Whitley calls himself a “dinosaur,” I am a sports writer just like him. And while I may not have the clout he has as a writer for AOL and Sporting News and I don’t want to cause a ruckus by publishing this column in a publication, the Internet gives me the same ability to express my thoughts through a small blog I share with two of my closest friends.

I gave Mr. Whitley my eyes and undivided attention. Now I am asking for his.

I promise it won’t take too long, but I have a whole bunch of thoughts.

While my two (yes, just two) tattoos don’t show up in a business setting, they’re both large and noticeable. Additionally, my newspaper (The Spectrum) published a point/counterpoint section debating tattoos last year and my co-worker Lisa Khoury’s anti-tattoo column went viral. I know Lisa and I know she’s a good person. I’m sure Whitley is, too.

I’m not here to debate if Whitley is racist, as some writers have asserted. I suppose the criticism is warranted because he compared Kaepernick to a prisoner and commended white quarterbacks, such as Peyton Manning, while demeaning black quarterbacks, namely Michael Vick. However, I trust it was an oversight and his response is genuine. I ask you to do the same, as readers tend to assume the worst in writers and fail to grant the benefit of the doubt. I am a white male like Whitley, but I grew up in the inner city of Buffalo and I’m not your typical “wealthy suburban prep” (in fact, as you can read via that link, the stereotype bothers me to no end). I think Whitley’s two adopted black daughters are enough evidence that he is far from a bigot.

Instead, I’m here to talk about his assertion that “a person’s body is a temple, and you don’t cover temples in graffiti.” I saw the overwhelmingly negative response to Lisa Khoury’s column firsthand, and I don’t wish to degrade Mr. Whitley or label him as closed-minded, as other blogs have done. This is simply the frank opinion of a developing journalist — who is probably similar to the person Whitley was when he was 21 — who has tattoos, doesn’t see them as an issue whatsoever, and has no problem telling the world.

Young? Absolutely. Naive? Hardly.

I got my first tattoo when I was 19 years old. It is scripted: “he conquers who conquers himself,” a translation of the Latin saying “vincit qui se vincit.”

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“he conquers who conquers himself”

Mr. Whitley, this tattoo is not a way “to pay homage to [my] religion, children and motorcycle gang.” It is rather a constant reminder that life is not about me. Society preaches arrogance to college students, and it’s easy to buy in. It’s easy to be a selfish young person. Sometimes, that’s a huge problem for me. The phrase “he conquers who conquers himself” is a reminder that I will not accomplish anything in life when I just set out to serve myself. I won’t leave anything behind.

As Winston Churchill said, “You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.” That’s a concept I often struggle with. Believe it or not, every time I see my tattoo, I go out aiming to make someone’s day. I aim to do something bigger than serve myself.

The tattoo is also a metaphoric bridge. When people happen to see it and ask what it says, I’m able to tell them the philosophy behind it. Would not the world be a better place if everyone were to “conquer him/herself” and start serving others? I think it would. I tend to think you would agree. That’s why I have the message permanently etched into my chest.

But my back, well, that’s the tattoo that means the most to me. Here’s a photo:

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

As I said, I was an athlete growing up, so everyone who sees this tattoo and doesn’t know me well assumes it was my high school number. But this number belongs to someone much more talented and generally much better than I. This number belongs to life-long friend Zack McLeod, who suffered a serious head injury during a football game in 2008 and has not had an easy recovery. Here is a basic synopsis.

Inside the number 16 is Zack’s favorite Bible verse, II Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Zack epitomizes the perfect kid — the “little Dutch boy” Whitley so admires. He was one of the best athletes I’ve ever met and yet he was the nicest kid — the kind of young man you can only wish your kid will grow up to be. He was humble. He had conquered himself.

And then the injury happened.

It didn’t — and still doesn’t — make sense to me. Why do such bad things happen to such good people? The tattoo is my outlet for telling others about Zack. If I were to tell you the full story, I can guarantee it would change the way you see the world. The back tattoo is also my permanent reminder that anyone’s life could come crashing down at any given moment — no matter how kind, talented, or good you are. Appreciate what you have. Show love. For more on this “pay-it-forward, carpe-diem” philosophy, check out a column I wrote at the beginning of this semester.

Maybe you, Mr. Whitley, don’t need reminders to be a good, selfless person. Maybe you think my tattoos would make “Jerry Richardson clutch his chest in horror,” like you assert Kaepernick’s will if he ever hoists the Lombardi Trophy.

You may very well have not made it this far, but I applaud you if you have. Stick with me. I’m almost done.

Am I not justified in being a professional with these two constant reminders on my skin? Does that discredit me and make me look like a prisoner, sir? Do I resemble the “98.7 percent of the inmates at California’s state prison [who] have tattoos?” I’ve never had any trouble with the law, I’m a Dean’s List student, and I excel in my work — but I do have two tattoos.

Mr. Whitley, I know you think I’ve missed your point and I also know you think “tattoo removal is going to be huge industry in the coming years,” but that industry won’t be getting any of my money. Not a dollar.

I was grappling with this column in class today when my Spanish teacher started talking about tattoos. A student sitting next to me asked if I had any, and I answered in the affirmative.

He scoffed. “You really want something permanently on your skin?” His judgment was clear, as if he was saying: “You’ll regret that in five years and never land a job.”

Then he took a big gulp of lemon-lime Gatorade and sighed, “I drank way too much last night.”

I spent last night producing a newspaper that would be read by over 10,000 people and working on a documentary for class until 4 a.m. But, again, I have two tattoos (which, though I’m adamant they deeply affect me, are about as meaningful to many — including the young man in class — as barbed wire on someone’s bicep), so I’m probably not on pace to land a successful job.

You ended your column with: “If you can’t draw the tattoo line at NFL quarterback, you can’t draw them anywhere.”

Consider this: Maybe an inked-up NFL quarterbacking era isn’t the worst thing in the world. Maybe, in fact, it can be a positive thing. Maybe painting the walls of our “temples” with impactful, uplifting messages that mean a lot to each individual isn’t a sign of the Apocalypse.

Three subtle ways to fight the beginning-of-the-semester health battle

In Life on October 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I worked hard to make this progress this summer, but with the fall comes fall semester, and that poses a whole new challenge.

The beginning of a new semester is the devil for college students in the eternal battle to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s easy to gain 10 or 15 pounds and lose the six-pack you worked for all summer. I’ve been there, and I was on my way again in September until I caught myself.

You’re busy getting back into the swing of things – teachers are already assigning ridiculous amounts of homework, you may have a new, stressful job, and your friends want to go out and drink almost every night of the week. Just one week off – one week of ‘I can skip this workout and order a pizza because I have a Spanish test, NBD’ – could lead to a semester of apathy. When you look in the mirror in December, you might be disgusted by how you got so out of shape so quickly. Picture the rolls! If that doesn’t get you motivated, nothing will.

I’m a realist; I know your workouts and eating habits during the semester will probably never be as strong as they are over the summer, when you have a lot more free time. Everyone knows the two pillars (diet and exercise) of staying in shape, but here are some less noticeable ways you can keep your body looking sharp:

1. Pack a lunch – It might look lame to brown bag it, but your eating habits are going to suffer if you’re heading off to class or work for the day and you don’t plan ahead. Trust me: You’ll look lamer if you come home from Christmas break looking like a blimp. Try packing a bunch of fruit (plums and peaches are great this time of year, and bananas and clementines are awesome year-round), a water bottle and a couple sandwiches (my go-to lately has been almond butter and sliced banana on wheat bread).

2. Walk for 10 minutes after your workout – Of course this one is contingent on you actually exercising beforehand, but if you find time for a workout, be sure to walk around your block (or on the treadmill) afterward. You can burn 33 percent more calories during a workout if you walk (or ride a bike, just do light cardio) immediately after you finish the exercise regimen, according to 6weeksixpack.com.

I don’t recommend doing more than 10-15 minutes because then it starts to feel like a second workout. I think dreading one workout a day is enough.

3. Sleep! – College students are known to have crazy sleeping habits, but getting eight hours a night is essential if you want to stay in shape. According to health.com: “Researchers at the University of Chicago found that dieters who were well rested lost more fat – 56 percent of their weight loss – than those who were sleep deprived, who lost more muscle mass.”

Sleep can make you a better athlete, too. According to the same website: “A Stanford University study found that college football players who tried to sleep at least 10 hours a night for seven to eight weeks improved their average sprint time and had less daytime fatigue and more stamina.” If you’re tired every day, you’re not going to have motivation to work out. It’s as simple as that.

Don’t be apathetic this fall! You’ll regret it in the summer.

A memory and a lesson from Team USA’s victory over Nigeria

In Sports on August 3, 2012 at 11:00 pm

“What’s that, KD? You think we might only beat our next opponents by 50? Good one, bro.”

We Americans like being the best at everything, dammit. That’s no revolutionary proclamation; we’ve known it for a long time. But we don’t just like being the best — we like being 1776 times better than everybody else.

Hence last night, when the U.S. men’s basketball team obliterated Nigeria in basketball. If you haven’t heard yet, how many points do you think we’re talking about? 30? 40?

83.

Eighty-freaking-three. Team USA won 156-73, scoring the most points in Olympic history. The score makes Team Nigeria look like a group of blind paraplegics. ‘Merica, right?

This is not a sympathetic post. I’m not one of those moms who sits on the side of the court yelling at the dominant team, “leave them alone!” I love watching LeBron pin shots between the backboard and the rim and Carmelo Anthony re-define “Going HAM” with a barrage from downtown.

As Maximus once proclaimed, “are you not entertained?”

I don’t mind that the Americans ran up the score and Carmelo made it rain so often that it seemed the court would flood. I smiled when I heard the U.S. won by 83. Take that, Nigeria.

Feels good, right? I just want to talk about this feeling for a minute.

It suddenly dawned on me. I had nothing to do with this victory. I’ve never met any of the guys on the U.S. team, and I probably never will. I have no reason to assume they’re better guys than those on Nigeria. I mean, Kobe was accused of rape and Chris Paul once punched a dude in the nuts.

So why was I so happy? Well, though I’m just a very small part of the United States of America, the United States of America are fairly large a part of me. So when part of me outshines part of someone else – and does it in lol-did-you-see-that-score-bro fashion –, that makes me happy.

Team USA was not a bully in this game. Its players were just that much better than Nigeria, even when they stopped trying. Coach K benched Kobe and LeBron and once Carmelo got hot, he benched him, too.

USA Today reported Coach K’s response to whether he felt his team purposely humiliated Nigeria.

“I take offense to this question because there’s no way in the world that our program in the United States sets out to humiliate anyone,” he said.

I’m not saying the members of Team USA bullied Nigeria…but this game reminded me of one from a few years ago.

When I was a sophomore in high school, the other two Gentlemen and I played on a pretty good basketball team. We eventually lost in the conference championship game. There was a new team in our league that year, a school for “problem children” who had gotten in trouble at other schools. As it turned out, they were rather dysfunctional on the court. When they came to our gym to play for the first time, we built a decent-sized halftime lead.

48-2.

Yes. Forty-eight to two.

We were hyped. You know how immature high school guys are. We were joking around on the court, having a good time, winking at the ladies while throwing down 360-degree dunks (I’m pretty sure that happened) and embarrassing our opponents in the process.

For all our foolishness, we had a coach with even more wisdom. He taught us a lot, and on that day he told us, “don’t make it obvious, but help them score.” He wouldn’t let us take off on any fast breaks, and we did everything in our power – without making it obvious – to save their pride. We won 93-15. Pretty brutal, right? Not nearly as brutal as it could have been.

The team we played against got a whole lot better and made it to the championship two years later.

I learned a valuable lesson from that game – a lesson that should be applied to life. There’s nothing wrong with being the best at your trade. Nothing wrong with wanting to win. Isn’t that what we strive for? But when you make a show of it, brashly display Yes, I know I’m much better than you and I’m going to make sure everyone else knows, you do nothing but make yourself look bad.

And true greatness is being the best at your trade but never feeling the need to acknowledge it.

“Ancient societies had anthropomorphic gods: a huge pantheon expanding into centuries of dynastic drama; fathers and sons, martyred heroes, star-crossed lovers, the deaths of kings – stories that taught us of the danger of hubris and the primacy of humility.” – Tom Hiddleston

The thrill of the eternal chase

In Culture, Life, Women on July 9, 2012 at 10:38 pm


Every guy has a Jordan. She was the girl I just couldn’t get. It was impossible. Guys don’t get her.

I was 18. Broke out all the stops. Made myself look like a fool. She resisted. Thought about her 24/7. Wrote her a short book. (Yup, that happened.) All day, every day, all Jordan.

Then I got her. Didn’t want her anymore.

(“Jordan” is a pseudonym — sorry to the countless now-heartbroken Jordan’s.)

The thrill of the chase. All guys know it. All are prone to it.

I was on my back porch talking with Andrew this weekend when we deciphered that his latest relationship was a fitting example of a guy being consumed with the thrill of the chase. He was upset. “I thought I was above that,” he sighed.

I let out a hearty laugh. “No guy is above it.”

So what is it exactly? Well, the thrill of the chase is all about getting a girl who seems unreachable. Maybe she’s out of your league, or too mature, or she doesn’t date. “Nah, man, you can’t get her.”

Challenge accepted.

Here’s a basic explanation.

When a guy sees how hard it is to get a girl (this could be vice-versa as well, but I’ve never exactly been a girl and I don’t see as many examples of girls chasing guys), he must have her. It’s a proven fact that the harder she is to get, the hotter she is. (That’s not really a proven fact.)

He’ll think about her all day. He’ll do the craziest things to get her — buy flowers, hand-write long letters, sing to her.

And then, suddenly, he gets her. It’s kind of shocking. For a little while, it’s awesome. And then, again suddenly, he’s sick of it. There’s no work left to do.

So he drops her until he finds the next girl to chase. The more she rejects, the more he yearns.

Of course, there are rare exceptions. There are times the guy doesn’t actually get sick of the girl and continually works for her affection long after he’s received it. That’s called love, I guess.

Anyway, let’s debunk this whole thing. There’s no sense pretending it doesn’t exist because, really, it does.

It all begins with the desire to be accepted. When you see somebody who you find appealing, you want that person to find you mutually appealing (be this friendship, romance, what have you). You want him/her to respect you.

You work to be respected — it’s like any competitive career. You’re going to get rejected right away. You just don’t have the experience or credentials. But if you have as much potential as you think you do (note: you have to be somewhere within the vicinity of the correct league), keep chipping away, and keep garnering little victories, eventually you’ll probably land that amazing job you’ve dreamed about.

When you finally land that amazing job, you’ll love it. You’ll be starstruck. It’ll be everything you dreamed of. For a while.

Then you’ll realize there are downfalls to everything in life. The grass will always be greener somewhere.

What if I worked fewer hours? I wouldn’t always be so tired.

What if I worked more hours? I wouldn’t always be so bored.

What if I made more money? It’d be great to have some financial padding.

What if I made a little less money? I wouldn’t have to worry about getting robbed 0r people hating me.

My mom always tells me something, though I don’t need her to remind me because it was permanently engraved in my mind the first time she uttered the words: “Life is a series of trade-offs.” No, she’s not being pessimistic. She’s not that type of person.

She’s right! Life will always, always, be a sequence of What ifs… 

I promise I’m not off the thrill-of-the-chase train of thought. I just needed to relate it to something so my point makes a little more sense.

If right away I’d said, “hey, seeking girls is like God,” you probably would’ve labeled me as ludicrous (which reminds me of a quality tune about seeking women) than you are right now. But on the real, the two chases are similar. Beyond similar. The thrill of the chase can be related perfectly to our walk with God.

We seek other things — careers, money, (ahem) women — and end up empty. We get them and then wonder: Now what? Isn’t there some sort of new satisfaction and contentment with life? Where is it? 

See, those things we chase are the things we aren’t supposed to have. They’re the things we don’t have now, but we’re convinced life would be a million times better if we got them. So we build them up in our minds. We idolize them.

It’s the same way with women. Just like no guy is above the thrill of the chase, no one is above seeking earthly desires. We think about ‘em all the time to the point that they become gods. And every single time, they fall short in some regard. Without fail, they yield disappointment instead of the contentment which we seek.

It’s because we’re chasing the wrong things. If you’re chasing your future wife, then dammit, you won’t be disappointed when she finally agrees to date you.

But if you’re chasing the wrong girl (not even that she’s a bad girl, just that she’s not the right one for you), eventually she won’t feel like the right girl when you get her. She won’t be a god anymore. Hell, she won’t even be appealing.

There is certainly a thrill in chasing women. There’s just no bona fide thrill in gaining something which won’t last forever.

“So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.” — Genesis 29:20

Remembering the years that made you who you are today

In Culture, Life on July 3, 2012 at 1:21 am

This was me, right, with my friend Jay in 2010. At different points of that year, I had black hair, a mohawk and pierced ears. We all go through rough patches.

I did something dangerous today.

I decided to look at my old blog.

If you don’t keep a diary/journal/blog, you’re missing out on some great future laughs. Sometimes you’ll look back on something you did and forgot about, and just think: Really? 

Remember the person you were in 2010? You might laugh. It seems so recent, right? How much could you have changed since then?

My guess is a lot.

The blog I found was one of the bleakest, most depressing things I’ve read in recent memory. Good Lord. I really love life, and it feels like it’s always been that way.

Not exactly. A couple posts made me cringe.

I wrote about how nothing gold can stay, the people I cared about didn’t care about me and how reality will never be good enough. Here was my thought process on Christmas 2010:

“So it’s Christmas. The day everyone gets tons of gifts and pretends to be ‘thankful.’ Fuck all of you.”

Whoa. Who thinks like that? Who says that?

Apparently the 2010 version of me.

I also wrote about how I wasn’t good at anything. I didn’t think I had any talent. I penned to myself: “How can you expect anyone else to like you when you hate yourself?”

Yikes. Another bomb.

I don’t remember ever being such a negative person, but obviously I was. A few bad things had piled up (struggling with not going to school, a serious car accident and getting thrown away by a girl), but I don’t understand how I ever thought like that. My outlook couldn’t be more different as of July 3, 2012.

If I had to pick one thing that changed, it’d be my entry into journalism. I joined the school paper and met someone who is one of my good friends today, Matt Parrino, my Senior Sports Editor. After about a month, he became my big brother and took me under his wing. Any success I’ve had to date in journalism is because of Matt.

It’s my passion. It’s something I really love. My life was headed so quickly and so far downhill before I joined the newspaper.

Here’s a question: If you’re mad at the world, are you doing what you love? If the answer is ‘no,’ why the hell not?

Go do it! It’ll change everything.

God had His hand on my life the entire time. I think about all the times I could have died or been arrested or gotten in serious trouble, and I can do nothing but breathe deep and thank Him for taking care of me. For letting me go through those dark days and bringing me to today.

Tonight, as Andrew and I were driving home from our basketball game, we were groaning about our many injuries. He and I are going on 23 and 21, respectively, but we could barely move our legs. It was a pretty comical sight.

“We’re such old men,” he laughed.

I instantly thought about the blog and smiled.

Older? Undoubtedly.

Wiser? Infinitely.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

 

Gentlemanly excursion reveals subtle epiphany

In Culture, Life on June 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm

It was going to be the funniest movie of all-time. Ever. Naturally, the Gentlemen had to go together.

While Ted may have fallen just short of the hype (and the egregiously hilarious previews), it took me to a place I never expected it would: deep in thought.

When we finally found three seats together, the boys and I settled in for a good time filled with barrel laughs and girlish squeals (totally not me). The movie is based on a pot head — an extremely offensive, alcoholic Teddy bear with a big heart. What part of that isn’t funny?

If you came up with an answer, you are wrong.

I won’t remember the laughs, though. There was one line that stuck with me, one part that had the three of us nodding in agreement.

Ted was a childhood star. He was on magazine covers and television shows. He was famous. As the narrator is fast-forwarding to present-day Ted, he reminds the audience: “It doesn’t matter how big of a splash you make in this world, whether you’re Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz or Justin Bieber. Eventually, nobody gives a shit.”

I paused.

Akanimo chuckled. “It’s true.”

Akanimo is better at being OK with accepting stuff like this than I am. He always has the attitude I appreciate what I have and the ones I love while I’m constantly thinking Damn, I really need to do something incredible to have an impact.

Did we just posit some grand, deep truth? And, more strangely, did we posit it because of a movie about a fictional Teddy bear?

Maybe.

Here’s the concept: You, yes you, will be forgotten. Think about it.

Now really think about it.

It’s easy to feel bigger than we are, to forget that we are individually ants in the world and, well, something much smaller than ants in the grand scheme of history.

Obviously your family and close friends will remember you as long as they live, and your other relatives will, too. If you do enough, maybe you’ll even be remembered for 50 or 100 years. But eventually, nobody gives a shit.

Let that change the way you see the world today. I’m driven to be the most successful, the most well known, in my career. My life is all about success. It’s what I’ve always wanted, and I write that sincerely.

And for what?

Sure, any successful person will be remembered for a while. Think of the most famous, successful people around this day and age: among them are Barack Obama, LeBron James, and Steve Jobs, just to name a few.

In 200 years, do you think anyone will care about any of them? Maybe some kid will have to memorize Obama’s name for a history test, but adolescents in that day won’t care. The NBA probably won’t exist. Apple will have been far surpassed, and the one-time college-dropout who became wildly successful will be like the rest of us.

Forgotten.

Here’s my point: there’s nothing wrong with being driven. Nothing wrong with wanting success (just check out my favorite YouTube video). But when it gets in the way of you caring about the people of your life, it’s an issue. It’s bigger than an issue. It’s asinine.

When you focus more on individual success or being famous than you do on the people you encounter every day, you’re wasting your life on something trivial. Something that will be forgotten.

The movie was phenomenal, by the way.

But eventually, nobody will give a shit.

 

“Is there anything of which one can say, ‘Look! This is something new’? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time. No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them.”
Ecclesiastes 1:8-11

UB sports outlook: what to expect for the blue and white in Fall 2012

In Sports on June 26, 2012 at 10:58 pm

I’m a total homer, a Buffalo kid who loves the University at Buffalo Bulls. I grew up high-fiving Victor E. Bull.

But these days I’m the editor in chief of the UB’s school paper, The Spectrum, so I’m obligated to provide objective coverage of the school’s sports teams, because, you know, that’s how journalism works. I still follow the teams fairly religiously.

Here’s the low-down — the things that won’t go in print — about what is to come for Bulls fans next year.

Football: The Bulls have gone 5-19 since Jeff Quinn took over as head coach, and there’s no question he’s on the hot seat. Buffalo’s schedule this year is murderous, including games against Georgia, Pittsburgh, and UConn. Branden Oliver (tailback), Khalil Mack (linebacker), and Alex Neutz (wide receiver) are the only real stars to show up so far on the roster. The rest of the squad is young and unproven.

Former AD Warde Manuel, who hired Quinn, was a big Quinn-believer, but Manuel has since bolted to work at UConn. He told me before he left that Quinn had a minimum of three or four years to prove himself.

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New Athletic Director: We’ll see if new AD Danny White, who was hired in May and comes from Mississippi, will have as much patience with Quinn. I sat down with White last week and got to know him a bit. A full profile is coming in The Spectrum in August, but here are the basics:

1. White, 32, is the youngest Division I athletic director. He’s never been intimidated by being young but being the boss. He’s incredibly charismatic and confident, which you would expect considering he’s a 32-year-old big-time athletic director.

2. He’s a family man and he adores his wife and three kids. Important fact: He also enjoys Diet Pepsi.

3. He was a walk-on basketball player at Notre Dame under coach Mike Brey, but said he doesn’t play pick-up any more. He enjoys jogging for exercise.

4. He recently bought a house in Clarence, N.Y., a beautiful, affluent suburb of Buffalo, though for now he’s living in an off-campus apartment.

5. His father is the AD at Duke.

6. People have already started asking how long he’ll be around, since he’s young and successful and young up-and-comers typically bolt from mid-major schools. He said it’s no secret that he wants to rise to the top of his profession, but he believes he can do that at UB.

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Men’s Soccer: UB’s men’s soccer team was really solid last year. The Bulls knocked off a top-25 team (No. 18 Northern Illinois), and almost did so again in the MAC tournament, eventually falling 1-0 to NIU in the semifinals. The team is young, with only one senior on board, but the group owns mighty potential. The Bulls should hang around the upper-half of the MAC this year.

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Women’s Soccer: This team is the one you want to keep an eye on. Ainsley Wheldon is an absolute monster in net, one of the best keepers in the country, and the Bulls made the biggest turnaround in Division I last year (finishing 12-5-4 after going 1-16-2 in fall 2010). Buffalo has a real shot to win the conference this year. But whenever I say that, I’m wrong, so let’s pretend I didn’t type that last sentence.

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Volleyball: Last year was a disaster. From what I know, head coach Todd Kress is an incredible guy, but his team dreadfully underperformed last year (11-19 after going 18-16 the year before). This team is packed full of sophomores and juniors, so we’ll see if their experience last year will translate into a better finish this year. The squad needs to get back to the days when it was a feared, up-and-coming MAC opponent.

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That’s about all there is to it — if I missed anything, be sure to shoot me an email at eic@ubspectrum.com or just drop me a line on Twitter @aaroncmansfield.

20 simple reasons this year’s NBA Finals will be the coolest thing ever.

In Sports on June 11, 2012 at 12:52 pm

 

1. We get to see what Russell Westbrook will wear to at least four more press conferences.

As SportsCenter put it, he just might be Urkel’s athletic brother. And if he dresses that ridiculously for a regular postseason series, just imagine what we’ll see on the biggest stage. Expect overalls and goggles.

2. Two white guys will play.

Nick Collison and Mike Miller are actually major contributors to the two best teams in the league. When they’re playing, the leaping ability will be low and basketball IQ will be high.

3. The two best players in the world are going head-to-head.

Duh.

4. Arguably the league’s two best defensive stoppers will be in full lock-down mode.

With Bruce Bowen hanging up his sneakers to don a bow tie on ESPN, two of the best shut-down defenders in the league today are Shane Battier and Thabo Sefolosha.

5. Two of the NBA’s youngest head coaches will square off.

Erik Spoelstra, 41, and Scott Brooks, 46, are youngsters in the industry. While some have called for Spoelstra’s job, they’re both up-and-coming young minds in the NBA coaching ranks.

6. Buffalo native Lazar Hayward will play.

Well, sort of. He sits on OKC’s bench, but still represents the 716.

7. We’ll see the greatest home advantage in professional sports.

Sorry, Seattle. I really do feel for you. People in Oklahoma City love their team and they make it mighty difficult for any road opponent to win. Chesapeake Energy Arena is going to rocking.

8. Quite possibly the two ugliest power forwards in the modern NBA era will line up for Miami.

Frankenstein lookalike Udonis Haslem and dinosaur-esque Chris Bosh form a deadly combination.

9. Dwyane Wade will face a younger, dumber, more athletic version of himself.

Hard to imagine a more athletic Flash. ‘Sup, Russell Westbrook?

10. Eddy Curry is on Miami’s bench.

This point isn’t really relevant because he never sees the court, but remember when Curry was supposed to be the future of the NBA? Check out a great article on Curry here: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7887970/the-divergent-careers-miami-heat-eddy-curry-new-york-knicks-tyson-chandler

11. Casual basketball fans will realize Juwan Howard is alive and kicking.

Hard to believe a member of the Fab Five still plays in the NBA.

12. Derek Fisher will shoot for one more ring than Kobe.

Fisher is perhaps one of the most unsung heroes in NBA history. The guy is unselfish and he consistently knocks down big shots. Plus that lefty stroke is nothing short of perfection.

13. The two best “big threes” will go at it.

Yes, Boston has a good one, but Ray-Ray tailed off and Rondo was clearly the focus of that team this year.

14. James Harden’s beard.

Life would make sense if I could grow facial hair half as beautiful.

15. Former mid-major star Norris Cole (Cleveland State) plays for Miami.

He may have fallen in the ranks throughout the year, but mid-majors unite!

16. Serge Ibaka will do something freakishly athletic and it will be awesome.

The big dude is a poor man’s Dwight Howard. Someone’s going to give him a lot of money next summer.

17. Someone will finally point out that Joel Anthony’s hairline is at least twice as bad as LeBron’s.

Bron-Bron might be getting older, but I can’t be the only one who’s realized that his teammate boasts a hairline much further back.

18. The league’s two most entertaining teams are playing.

Keep the highlight reel rolling.

19. Kevin Durant will continue to hug his mom, Wanda, after every game in OKC.

And the sports world will continue to collectively “awww.”

20. Oklahoma City is bound to chant “MVP” for Kevin Durant at some point.

That’s gonna be pretty awkward for the actual MVP, LeBron. Perhaps Miami will respond with its own MVP chant and we’ll be stuck in a chant-off, which will only add to the series’ heavy amount of awesome.

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