What An Opportunity

Posts Tagged ‘Time’

Remembering the years that made you who you are today

In Culture, Life on July 3, 2012 at 1:21 am

This was me, right, with my friend Jay in 2010. At different points of that year, I had black hair, a mohawk and pierced ears. We all go through rough patches.

I did something dangerous today.

I decided to look at my old blog.

If you don’t keep a diary/journal/blog, you’re missing out on some great future laughs. Sometimes you’ll look back on something you did and forgot about, and just think: Really? 

Remember the person you were in 2010? You might laugh. It seems so recent, right? How much could you have changed since then?

My guess is a lot.

The blog I found was one of the bleakest, most depressing things I’ve read in recent memory. Good Lord. I really love life, and it feels like it’s always been that way.

Not exactly. A couple posts made me cringe.

I wrote about how nothing gold can stay, the people I cared about didn’t care about me and how reality will never be good enough. Here was my thought process on Christmas 2010:

“So it’s Christmas. The day everyone gets tons of gifts and pretends to be ‘thankful.’ Fuck all of you.”

Whoa. Who thinks like that? Who says that?

Apparently the 2010 version of me.

I also wrote about how I wasn’t good at anything. I didn’t think I had any talent. I penned to myself: “How can you expect anyone else to like you when you hate yourself?”

Yikes. Another bomb.

I don’t remember ever being such a negative person, but obviously I was. A few bad things had piled up (struggling with not going to school, a serious car accident and getting thrown away by a girl), but I don’t understand how I ever thought like that. My outlook couldn’t be more different as of July 3, 2012.

If I had to pick one thing that changed, it’d be my entry into journalism. I joined the school paper and met someone who is one of my good friends today, Matt Parrino, my Senior Sports Editor. After about a month, he became my big brother and took me under his wing. Any success I’ve had to date in journalism is because of Matt.

It’s my passion. It’s something I really love. My life was headed so quickly and so far downhill before I joined the newspaper.

Here’s a question: If you’re mad at the world, are you doing what you love? If the answer is ‘no,’ why the hell not?

Go do it! It’ll change everything.

God had His hand on my life the entire time. I think about all the times I could have died or been arrested or gotten in serious trouble, and I can do nothing but breathe deep and thank Him for taking care of me. For letting me go through those dark days and bringing me to today.

Tonight, as Andrew and I were driving home from our basketball game, we were groaning about our many injuries. He and I are going on 23 and 21, respectively, but we could barely move our legs. It was a pretty comical sight.

“We’re such old men,” he laughed.

I instantly thought about the blog and smiled.

Older? Undoubtedly.

Wiser? Infinitely.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

 

Why won’t we ever be happy?

In Culture, Life on April 14, 2012 at 6:24 am

My mind has been everywhere this week. Perhaps it’s the stress of the end of the semester (and the looming final grades that will undoubtedly be my worst thus far in life), or perhaps I’m bugging out about my new job, or perhaps I’m over-tired…I’m not really sure. I’ve felt like a miniature Socrates riddled with ADHD this week, thinking about all kinds of deep stuff but never being able to connect the dots because my head keeps bouncing around. I think I’ve finally centered on one topic that has bothered, perplexed, intrigued me: everyone’s never ending discontentment – or, in other words, people will always be pissy about something, no matter where they are in life.

I’m not immune to the epidemic, but I think I’m finally becoming aware of it. Understanding is the first step to change, right? So no matter where we are, we’ll always want something else. Pretty normal example: a lot of high school students complain about their lack of freedom. “Ugh, I just wish I could drive!” or “High school is so boring!” Meanwhile, a lot of college students (myself included) miss high school. They miss seeing their friends everyday, miss playing sports or a specific team they were on (I think about my basketball brotherhood every day, though today I’m only in contact with a couple of those guys), miss the easy classes (okay, college is easy sometimes too, but high school was pretty much laughable), miss not having to pay for everything, and just generally miss adolescence.

Here’s another example: when people are single, they tend to seek relationships. They strive to feel wanted, needed, loved. They want someone to sleep next to, someone to validate their existence. But when people are in a relationship, they envy their “single self” who had the freedom to do whatever he/she wanted, who didn’t have to worry about the significant other’s problems, who could chase anyone.

I think of some lyrics from the Trace Adkins song You’re Gonna Miss This: “These are some good times, so take a good look around. You may not know it now, but you’re gonna miss this.”

Let’s not talk about how I got on this train of thought by watching 17 Again – hey, it really wasn’t that bad, and I swear it was the only thing on TV – but instead let’s talk about why this sad reality is, well, reality. When posed the question of why people will never be satisfied, one of my friends said something interesting on Facebook: “When you’re happy in the moment, it’s likely you’re not conscious of it. You’re living it.”

Isn’t that a sad thought? Any time you’re happy, you won’t be aware of it. And any time you’re aware of how you feel, you’ll be missing the time you were happy…because that’s when you were actually living, not reflecting. I guess I just wish we could be doing both at the same time.

My point here: soak up life as much as you can. It’s gonna be gone soon. We are such a minor blip in the scale of history – Here today, gone tomorrow. Grandchildren today, grandparents tomorrow. How did it get so late so soon?

Soak up everything, during every time, as much as you can. Close your eyes, take a long, deep breath, and just thank God. Try to be happy and appreciate the moment, because you will miss exactly where you are right now.

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” – Guillaume Apollinaire

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